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Church Bloopers…

It is time for a few laughs.

Sometime ago a longtime Union Carbide buddy of mine, also a Methodist Minister, sent me a group of “mistakes” in church bulletins. None from his church I presume!

I have used some “joke” columns for laughter in other papers now and then. Perhaps you Star-Courier readers will enjoy these. Take time out in this hot summer and laugh a little.

…The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing “Break Forth into Joy.”
…At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and hear our choir practice.
…Eight new robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
…Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
…Miss Charlene Mason sang, “I Will Not Pass This Way Again,” giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

…Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a health lunch.
…The sermon this morning: “Jesus Walks on Water.” The sermon tonight: “Searching for Jesus.”
…During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J. F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
…The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday, “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”

…Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 p. m. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.
…The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
…Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.
…For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
…Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 at the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
…The Lutheran men’s group will meet at 6 p. m. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
…Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
…Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p. m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

Such are the people, places and things that have touched my life in my West Virginia home!