New Olympic event: the red wasp shuffle

Have you been watching the Olympics? They needed me in them to set a new record for short distance running like I did yesterday.

Me and the Four Dog were in the dry bottoms of Day Lake early yesterday. As I was climbing the ladder to get on the porch I heard a sudden buzz of wings, then it felt like a .22 got me on my left shoulder. Dad gum red wasp had put a stinger in me; to the bone it felt like. I literally flew across the deck trying to out run the burning pain on my back. I still heard the buzz and slapped at myself while yanking off the shirt as I flung it in the air shooing off the wasp.

I would have given a pretty nickel to have some of momma’s snuff to dab on my back.

After I cooled down a bit, I raised the lid on the Old Smokey. Eight red wasps looked at me from a nest on the grill. I dropped the lid and hollered at Four, “Let’s go!” I was in the cabin in a flash.

After putting a box in the truck, I started to go back up the ladder and saw a red wasp go in a hole at the cabin’s edge, by the ladder. We sprayed that same hole last weekend and the red wasp are going back in there.

Great I thought, the wasp spray is up on the deck and I’m down here. Again! Took me a while to get up the ladder as one red wasp stood lookout. It would buzz around me a few times before I made record time getting up the ladder. For you land lubbers, a ladder is nothing more than stairs, but you get my drift. Needless to say, me and red wasp don’t geehaw. Savvy?

Speaking of gee-haw, do you know what that means? Do you know what one is? Is gee to the left or haw to the right?

Do you know what a Gee Haw Whimmy Diddle is? A Gee Haw Whimmy Diddle is two sticks. One with notches cut in it and a little propeller on one end driven in with a small tack. The other stick is used to rub up and down the stick with notches making the propeller turn. There is the 24th Annual World Gee Haw Whimmy Diddle Competition on Sept. 18 near Asheville, N.C., should you care to attend.

Fall is the time of year for festivals. The big city paper had a special edition in today’s paper that announces festivities and bazaars through December.

Here’s a unique one for you. My old cousin in Montana was telling me they are going to the “Turd Fest” this weekend. She said it is a fund raiser for one of the small towns up there. They have a band, pig roast, and games like decorating a cow pie for prizes or the chicken poop contest (numbers on a board, you pick a number and if the chicken poops on your number first you win $). She said they are really hard up for entertainment but do fairly well with it.